Excuse me ladies and gentlemen but I seem to have lost my drink. Scout’s honour, in the last half-hour I haven’t touched a drop. Nor have I had a sit-down meal, since the day Jesus slew the Philistinians. Then give me a shot of water. The water of life, made of two kinds of gin: hydro-gin and oxy-gin. Cleans your sheets and shorts your stocks. We are the people who made slaves of the Romans’ wives. They brought it upon themselves for puking in the oak groves. I can see it all now. You’re going to thank me for this in your next life, when you make a big comeback as a wasp.