Category Archives: Xenomanes

Treasures of the Art World

Xenomanes was excited to hear of the recent excavations into the tomb of Pompus Pilot. The word is that the dig has yielded a king’s ransom of nickle-and-dime illustrated novels on the subject of you know what.

Fulton B. Cruton, whose father was a far-sighted fuller brush man, and his wife Quinoa, once priestess of Delphi, were in charge of the excavation. Xenomanes had led several parties to Delphi in times past, and had a nodding acquaintance with Quinoa.

Barbarian Stammer

Xenomanes the navigator was a Barbarian by birth, although there was Greek on the spindle side and a Roman on the distaff. He was always scratching his head like a monkey with cirrhosis and babbling under his breath like a crustacean. Yet here was the man who in proud liege to King Knute learned to ski with a toboggan on each foot. And by the king’s daughter in holy wedlock sired the man who first put his head into a lion’s mouth and saved a shilling on a barber. When he, Xenomanes, returned to north Africa, he barbecued a slug of wildebeests in homage to the three fates, the four farts, the five senses that are thereby aroused, the six packs, and the seven maids a-milking.

The Shaggy Main

 

Xenomanes was Apache on the spindle side. His father was Tarsands the carboniferous man. His mother was Queen Jane for a day and a half.

Wonder Woman was his sidekick, to go back to primeval days, his mate, his date, his funraiser in times of need, his kneader of daily bread, his breeder in butter times.

He had laid aside some buffalo chips for when the shit hit the fandolear when out of the blue said shit did hit. That put a big hole in his background story.

She got up on on her stump. With a huff and a puff she blow your man down.

They were true nobodies like in days of yore, and nobody could deny.

Wild Woman of Borneo

In addition to his duties as navigator, Xenomanes served as ship’s sawbones in the absence of Alcofribas. Accordingly, when the fleet touched in at Borneo and Alcofrybas was reconnoitering in the Far Faluches, it fell to Xenomanes to institute a program of public health.

Lockjaw

opisthotonus_in_a_patient_suffering_from_tetanus_-_painting_by_sir_charles_bell_-_1809

Tetanus, also known as lockjaw, is an infection characterized by muscle spasms. In the most common type, the spasms begin in the jaw and then progress to the rest of the body. These spasms usually last a few minutes each time and occur frequently for three to four weeks. Spasms may be so severe that bone fractures may occur. Other symptoms may include fever, sweating, headache, trouble swallowing, high blood pressure, and a fast heart rate. Onset of symptoms is typically three to twenty-one days following infection. It may take months to recover. About 10% of those infected die.

Tetanus often begins with mild spasms in the jaw muscles—also known as lockjaw or trismus. The spasms can also affect the facial muscles resulting in an appearance called risus sardonicus. Chest, neck, back, abdominal muscles, and buttocks may be affected. Back muscle spasms often cause arching, called opisthotonos. Sometimes the spasms affect muscles that help with breathing, which can lead to breathing problems.

Prolonged muscular action causes sudden, powerful, and painful contractions of muscle groups, which is called “tetany”. These episodes can cause fractures and muscle tears. Other symptoms include drooling, excessive sweating, fever, hand or foot spasms, irritability, difficulty swallowing, suffocation, heart attack, breathing problems, irregular heartbeat, and uncontrolled urination or defecation.

Severe cases will require admission to intensive care. Human tetanus immunoglobulin injected intrathecally. Tracheotomy and mechanical ventilation for 3 to 4 weeks. Tracheotomy is recommended for securing the airway because the presence of an endotracheal tube is a stimulus for spasm. Magnesium as an intravenous infusion to prevent muscle spasm, Diazepam as a continuous IV infusion, The autonomic effects of tetanus can be difficult to manage (alternating hyper- and hypotension hyperpyrexia/hypothermia) and may require IV labetalol, magnesium, clonidine, or nifedipine. Drugs such as diazepam or other muscle relaxants can be given to control the muscle spasms. In extreme cases it may be necessary to paralyze the patient with curare-like drugs and use a mechanical ventilator.

Christian squadron

In the Christian squadron, five stout and lofty ships were guided by skilful pilots, and manned with the veterans of Italy and Greece, long practised in the arts and perils of the sea. Their weight was directed to sink or scatter the weak obstacles that impeded their passage: their artillery swept the waters: their liquid fire was poured on the heads of the adversaries, who, with the design of boarding, presumed to approach them; and the winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.

Cold war

I didn’t start it, but you might say I carried my weight as best I could during the cold war. So I have earned the right to speak plainly to you, as thou art either the best of men or the better half of women — exclusions may apply in some jurisdictions. We thy servants must be a sorry flock to set before the king.

Please to forgive these scholarly blind alleys — I don’t have time to become immortalized as a poet of the first magnitude. But someday, if my ship comes in and I can afford to become a philosopher, I would like to solve once and for all the riddle of existence. And if it was in my genes to become a that molecular biologist who can put it all togetjher, I would trace my ancestries to the skin of a virus. If I could get into psychoanalysis, given my upbringing, I would make your head spin. Figuratively, of course.