Forbidden Territory

The heathens had many everyday expressions that may provide a glimpse into their simple minds. A scout has sent back a story from Outer Godwannaland. In those regions when a woman was looking for a man, she would take a taste of his juice, and when a man was looking for a woman, he would lick the entire length of her legs in extreme unction. So the saying went, in his translation, “As well to put a horseshoe on a cricket, as to boil a monk in oil.”

They the heathens had another tale about the short-order cook on the ship that was one short of a full deck. He the cook got short-sheeted at Camp Guantanamero. He got short-shifted at the union hall. Short-circuited at the Circus Maximus. So they say, “When last seen, he was in shorts and a cunt cap” [according to Van der Essen a reference to Browning’s old nun’s twat].

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